A poem -- Alone, dejected, rejected

Alone, dejected, rejected

You say you love me, yet you are not in a position to marry me
You say you love me, yet you left me with nothing
You say you love me and never hugged me
You say you love me and never check on me
You say you love me and give me no time
You say you love me, yet all you did was take
You say you love me, yet I am alone
You say you love me, yet I had to find my own way
You say you love me, yet I could never live up to your standards
You say you love me and my dreams were too big
You say you love me, I am alone.

You say you love me, yet I find myself wondering
Wondering what I didn't do
Wondering what I did wrong
Wondering what I could change
Wondering how I could ease the pain
Wondering why I always put you first
Wondering why I am still alone.

Alone to deal with this hurt
Alone to deal with this pain
Alone to make heads or tails
Alone to comfort myself
Alone to entertain me
Alone with my thoughts
Alone, dejected and rejected.

Rejected because I was different
Rejected because no one understands
Rejected because I was fair
Rejected and alone.

Dejected because all I want is love.
What kind of love, you ask?
Unconditional love.
A love that only God can give.
A love not found in humankind, yet possible in humankind because we are made in His image.
A love that has no conditions
A love that accepts all of me.

I love you enough to correct you
I love you enough to send you around the world
I love you enough to make your wish my command
I love you enough to encourage your dreams
I love you enough to support you with all of me
I love you enough to put my dreams on hold
I love you enough to give you the best
I love you enough to sacrifice myself
I love you enough to die for you
It seems as if it is not enough, nor am I good enough!

Where is the joy that you should bring
Where is the joy to make everything alright
Where is the joy to kiss away the tears
Where is the joy to fight the battles
Where is the joy with the answer
Where is the joy to ease the pain
Where is the joy and fulfillment that unconditional love should bring?

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love holds no grudges
Love forgives quickly
Love adds no sorrow
Love causes no pain
Love gives, expecting nothing in return!


(C) 29 Nov 2012 PrincessJoyful

Confession for my life

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.  He is my strength and song and is my salvation.  His words will sink deep into my heart first and I will listen to them carefully.  He restores my soul and leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake.  I am blessed because my sins are forgiven.  There is no guile in my spirit.  I have confessed my sins to the Lord and He has forgiven me.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivered me from them all.  I am highly favored and empowered to prosper.  By His stripes, He has healed all my diseases.  I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and do not depend on my own understanding, I will seek His will in all I do and He will direct my path.  I will cast all my cares upon the Lord for He cares for me.  I will resist the devil and he will flee from me for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.  He will rebuke the devourer for my sake.  I will humble myself before the Lord for His divine power gives me everything I need for living a godly life.  I will abide in Him and His words will abide in me. I will seek the Lord in all things and heaven will fill my thoughts.  I know right from wrong and will cherish His law in my heart.  I will not be afraid of people's scorn or their slanderous talk.  I will call upon the Lord and He will answer me, I shall ask what I will, and it shall be done for me.  He will show me great and mighty things.  He is my shield, my glory and the lifter up of my head.  He has called me to receive His own glory and goodness.  Therefore He has given me exceeding and great and precious promises which I will make every effort to apply to my life.  They are my armor and protection.  Without faith, it is impossible for me to please God.  My faith will produce a life of moral excellence, knowing God better, self-control, patient endurance, godliness and love for myself, other christians and everyone else.  I have the Holy Spirit and I know all things for the Spirit teaches me those things.  The fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control will be produced in my life.  As the clay is in the potter's hand, so am I in the Lord's hand.  God is my hiding place and He shall preserve me from trouble.  He shall surround me with songs of victory.  He will shield me with His wings and shelter me with His feathers.  I will exalt the Lord among the heathen and He will be exalted in the earth.  I will bless those that persecute me.  I will overcome evil with good.  My enemy will not triumph over me.  I will wait patiently for the Lord, brave and courageous.  My strength shall be renewed.  I will mount up with wings as eagles, I will run and not be weary.  I will walk and not faint. I am blessed because I delight in the law of the Lord.  I meditate in it day and night.  I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, my leaf will not wither and whatsoever I do shall prosper.  God is good and His faithfulness endures forever.  I will thank Him always.  I love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, and all that is within me.  I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace unto me and not let me turn again to folly.  The Lord God is my strength and He will make my feet like hinds' feet, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places.  By His mighty power at work in me, He is able to accomplish abundantly more than I could ever ask or think.  All nations will call me blessed.  His grace is sufficient for me.

INSPIRED BY the HOLY SPIRIT on 23 Mar 2001

My Bali experience - the island of the gods

Wow, what a journey 2012 has been already. Traveling has been the name of the game every month. I praise God for traveling mercies and allowing me to experience parts of Asia that I only dreamed about as a child.

Bali - a small island that is a part of a larger island nation and chain called Indonesia. A lot of our clothing is made in Indonesia. After much research, I traveled there with a friend to find a place that reminds me of home, Barbados. A place where the locals worship their hindu gods beginning at 6 am and ending at 6 pm. They were faithful in their dedication to setting out their daily offerings as well as the mandatory temple visits every 15 days. What if we, children of God, worshiped our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the same way? What if we worshiped Him upon waking, as we should, and before going to bed, as we should? The Balinese exhibited what we should all be doing, albeit to their idols. I saw men, riding scooters, stop in the middle of the day to pray before the stone idol outside the temple. The design in some of their clothing gave reference to what they believed in. No one was offended by their openness and their daily worship. Why do we, as Christians, afraid of being bold for Christ? Why do we scamper away at the first sign of someone taking offense at our worship? Why can we not say Jesus for our own hearing without someone getting upset? One thing I learned is that I will be Bold for Jesus.



Upon our arrival, we took a short nap, about 4 hours, then we set off for the local market. There is not many parking spaces for cars, many for scooters though. Their main mode of transportation is the scooter. I saw them carry two large speakers on a scooter. Four people, two adults and two children under the age of 3, were on one scooter. What a life? The appreciate the little things. How about us?
We walked through the market, as it was closing, and I discovered many fruit and vegetables similar to those found in Barbados. I was at home. One observation that I found is that they do not have a lot of refrigeration or the cooling for meat, as we are accustomed to in the United States. Purchase meat and fish at your own expense of experiencing Bali belly later...

We then checked in and surveyed our surroundings. We had the beach, when the tide was low, in front of us. We were situated on a road that had many turns. If you did not know where you were going, you would be lost. I loved the colors in the hotel room - my favorite - burgundy, gold and white. Just awesome when used together. We saw many beautiful sunsets and felt many cool breezes at our little spot in Candi Dasa.

Resurrection Sunday found us praising God, dancing and singing His praises as we read the word for our devotions. It was a day to bask in the Son and His presence. My word for the day was "Be slow to speak", Ecc 5:2. Wow, just sitting on my balcony, looking at the ocean and the restaurant below, surveying the land, I was continually reminded of God's beauty and creation, even if we all don't worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. He created us all and we are able to work together, putting our differences aside, even on the day we celebrate His rising from the grave so we would be reconciled back to Him!

We then set off for the oldest village in the island where there are still about 200 people living who make pashmina scarves along with other cothing. Their shop is in their home. It was interesting to see how they live. The bedrooms are all on one side, there is a covering over the middle and the kitchen is on the opposite end of the structure. Lots of free flowing throughout the house. There was no bathroom readily or easily seen. From what I can tell, they may still have outhouses. The toilets that I used at White Sandy Beach had a toilet, I believe to appease visitors, however you had to flush by pouring water into the bowl when you were finished your business.

We had another day of rest, enjoyed the pool, read a book and expressed my desire for local fruit and local adventures. I was introduced to mangosteen, such a wonderful flavor and taste, durian, which I did not get an opportunity to taste as well as reintroduced to sugar apple  and passion fruit (Bajan name). They were lovely. I also go to drink fresh coconut water, straight out of the nut from the tree. Not store bought. Freshly picked right there for me. The wonders of my Daddy and how He loves me so. He gave me the desire of my heart. I had one daily. It was refreshing.

My desire led me to ask our driver to take us to a waterfall. We got the waterfall, a beautiful sight, that was about quarter of a mile away. It was gorgeous. We also got to see the smaller of the three largest mountains on the island as it continues to have lava escaping around its side. There was a green oasis in the middle of the lava and I could only think of the miracle of God and how He protects us so when we least expect it.

I then had another day of rest, while continuing to bask in the goodness of God. The weather reports had listed thunderstorms for three days and we had yet to see one drop of rain. The sea came in only so far and no further, again allowing me to be amazed at my Daddy and His creation. High tides were in the morning, some days the waves were choppy, other days, they were smooth. More examples of how we are not really in control of anything, God is in control of it all and He directs and orchestrates our path.

It was time to leave after six glorious days and I began to really praise and thank God for the experience. I felt right at home. The motto of the resort is "Unique, Friendly and Relaxing" and I can say that it was truly that for me and more. I am a little more brown than usual, more like honey ginger caramel rather than just honey colored. My daily massages allowed me to experience relaxation like no other. My books that I read, "The Walk" by Shaun Alexander and "Be still and know" by Sietta Jefferson, reinforced for me that when I was an Unbeliever, God was there. God led me to become a Believer and an Example. He is teaching me how to become a Teacher, while I learn to Impart to those He sends my way. I continue to be an Example as I Teach and Impart as I sit at His feet, learning how to be Still and Wait on the Promises He has for me.

Thank you Lord for an awesome time experiencing who You are to me, for me and in me!

Out with the Old

“Moving Forward” by Israel Houghton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM8eVnrf8OQ

Oh, hey, what a moment You have brought me to?
Such a freedom I have found in You
You're the healer who makes all things new, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward, oh

You have risen with all power in Your hands
You have given me a second chance
Hallelujah, hallelujah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh

I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to You my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving

Not going back, moving ahead
Here to declare to You, my past is over in You
All things are made new, surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward
Said I'm moving forward, oh yeah

Singing You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward, oh
You make all things new
You make all things new and I will follow You forward

You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward
You make all things new
Yes, You make all things new and I will follow You forward

I will follow You forward, yeah, oh, oh

(retrieved online via google)

Deciding I Should Correct Indestructible Pleasures,

Learning I am a New Example for others -

DISCIP-LINE

 the ocean renews itself every time a wave hits the shore
North Shore Kauai

Life must be renewed. As women, every month our menstrual cycle is renewed. Annually we have Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. In Spring, the new leaves on trees begin to appear, being renewed. In the Fall, the old leaves fall away.

Our minds must be renewed according to scripture (Rom 12:2 - Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. NLT).

Old things must pass away as it does every fall, with the death of a loved one who is advanced in years, as it is with our menstrual cycle.

What does this have to do with Discipline? Moving forward?

We have to discipline ourselves to pray, study the word of God and praise God no matter the circumstances in order to know the word of God so that we can pray the will of God. We must embrace change. We must surrender our will to that of the Father. Allow the Holy Spirit to be our lead and our guide.

How can we stay on the path God has for us, Jer 29:11-12, if we do not go to the Lord to ask His direction at all times through prayer. God brings us to many moments in Him, are we listening for them, watching for them, allowing our hearts to be changed by Him in order to enjoy those moments.

If we stay humble and disciplined, God will show us favor with Himself and with man. We must be obedient. We must walk according to His way, His will whether it feels good or not.

Sometimes I do not like to wake up early because I like to sleep. I must be disciplined to wake up early in order to spend time with the Lord before I start my day through praying and studying the word of God. If I don’t do so, I will not have a good day. I will not have the word of God hidden in my heart to keep me as I meet various people and meet various situations with people. I must seek Him early in the morning. I must give Him first place in my life through discipline. If I don’t discipline myself, the Lord will have no problem disciplining me because He loves me. If He disciplines me, He will wake me up at 0 dark thirty to pray, read my word or for Him to speak to my heart. Once I am obedient in that, He may allow me to get the rest that I need. It is so much better when I do it than when He has to do it…I love my Daddy anyhow.

How can we grow if we do not release the past, release the fear, releasing faith instead and embracing the new? We have to allow God to heal the broken pieces of our lives, tie a knot in the rope, so that we can be repaired and grow closer to Him. Growing closer to Him allows us to enjoy His presence like never before. His presence will give us peace and joy, it will surround us with grace and favor, and it will change us, shape us and mold us to be who we are called to be in Him.

We have to lose the shackles that easily bind us up. Those things that the enemy meant for bad, yet God turned around for our good so that we can have a greater anointing in Him.

At times we have to look back to see where we have been, learn from it and move forward. We cannot stay in the past. We can use the past for our testimonies, learning from our mistakes and our successes, yet we must be disciplined enough to say ‘Yes’ Lord and do what He has called us to do at this time and at this season. There will be a blessing in the obedience and joyful acceptance of what He is doing in and through you. Others will be blessed by your presence.

You will be blessed by your obedience and the residue of your obedience by those people that God allows to cross your path.

If it were not for the Lord, you would not be where you are at today, so give Him some praise for what He has brought you through in 2011 and look forward to His governing in 2012.

Watch and see what the Lord will do, write it all down and watch!

© princess joyful

 

“I won’t go back” by William McDowell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZNj8B6z64U

I've been changed
Healed
Freed
Delivered

I've found joy
Peace
Grace
And favor

[William McDowell] I've been changed [Choir] I've been changed
[William McDowell] In the presence of the lord, I have been: Healed
[William McDowell] Freed; [Choir] freed
[William McDowell] Delivered; [Choir] delivered

[William McDowell] In your presence of the lord:
I've found joy
Peace
[William McDowell] Grace; [Choir] Grace
[William McDowell] And favor; [Choir] and favor

[William McDowell] And right now; [Choir] right now is the moment
[William McDowell] Today; Today is the day
[William McDowell] I've been changed; [Choir] I've been changed
[William McDowell] I've been changed; [Choir] I've been changed
[William McDowell] And I have waited; [Choir] I have waited for this moment to come
And I won't let it pass me by...

[Chorus]
[William McDowell] So we say
[Choir] I won't go back, can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence; came and changed me
[William McDowell] Say I won't
[Choir] I won't go back, I can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence came and changed me

[Verse 2]
[Choir]
All my shame
Guilt
Sins
[William McDowell] They've been forgiven, [Choir] Forgiven

No more chains
Fear
[William McDowell] My past [Choir] My past [William McDowell] is over [Choir] is over

[William McDowell] Say right now; [Choir] right now is the moment
[William McDowell] Today; Today is the day
[William McDowell] I've been changed; [Choir] I've been changed
[William McDowell] Come on someone declare that, I've been changed; [Choir] I've been changed
[William McDowell] I have waited; [Choir] I have waited for this moment [William McDowell] this moment right here I have waited all my life [Choir] to come
And I won't let it pass me by...

[Chorus]
[William McDowell] So we say
[Choir] I won't go back, can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence came and changed me
[William McDowell] Would you lift up your voices as loud as you can and say?
[Choir] I won't go back, can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence came and changed me
[William McDowell] Come on, somebody, lift your voice and declare it and say
[Choir] I won't go back, can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence came and changed me
[William McDowell] Somebody say... I won't go back, say
[Choir soft] I won't go back, can't go back, to the way it used to be
Before your presence came and changed me

(retrieved online via google)

All roads lead to God!

Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do? What about the things that come to you so naturally? We all have a path to walk, according to the divine plan that God has for us. (Jer 29:11)

Many times, when we take that step of faith (Heb 11:1) we begin the journey that God has planned for us without really knowing where we will end up. I never would have dreamed that I would end up living in Japan, North eastern Japan, mind you, in the Northern Pacific Ocean, so far away, in my mind, from my home, my place of birth, Barbados, a small island nation in the middle of the Caribbean Sea on the Western side and on the Eastern shore by the Atlantic Ocean. The middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The closest Caribbean island nation to the African continent. Wow…

God knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb. He knew that on this day, I would be here. Thankful, joyful, faithful, loving Him as only I can love Him. Just truly grateful for who He is in my life. My Creator. My Healer. My Restorer. My Rescuer. My Waymaker. My Provider. My Banner. My Protector. My Guide. My Teacher.

What can separate me from God? Nothing.  Rom 8:38 - 39 state, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I know that no matter what happens in my life, whether a supervisor despises me, a stranger has ill will or ill thoughts towards me, an acquaintance wishes evil upon me, God has full knowledge and control over me, over my life and will use my enemies as my footstool. All things work together for the good of those who are in Christ Jesus, those who Love God, those who are called according to His purpose – my paraphrase. (Rom 8:28)

Ps 136 is so defining for me of who God is, especially when I believe in my heart that “His faithful love endures forever and I continually give Him thanks. He is the Creator, the Conqueror and the Compassionate One:

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
² Give thanks to the God of gods.
His faithful love endures forever.
³ Give thanks to the Lord of lords.
His faithful love endures forever.

⁴ Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁵ Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁶ Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁷ Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights—
His faithful love endures forever.
⁸ the sun to rule the day,
His faithful love endures forever.
⁹ and the moon and stars to rule the night.
His faithful love endures forever.

¹⁰ Give thanks to him who killed the firstborn of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹¹ He brought Israel out of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹² He acted with a strong hand and powerful arm.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹³ Give thanks to him who parted the Red Sea.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁴ He led Israel safely through,
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁵ but he hurled Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁶ Give thanks to him who led his people through the wilderness.
His faithful love endures forever.

¹⁷ Give thanks to him who struck down mighty kings.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁸ He killed powerful kings—
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁹ Sihon king of the Amorites,
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁰ and Og king of Bashan.
His faithful love endures forever.
²¹ God gave the land of these kings as an inheritance—
His faithful love endures forever.
²² a special possession to his servant Israel.
His faithful love endures forever.

²³ He remembered us in our weakness.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁴ He saved us from our enemies.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁵ He gives food to every living thing.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁶ Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His faithful love endures forever.

We have nothing to fear when we walk with God. We are to first have Faith. Then we must Believe. We must also Trust. Then we have Hope. Then we stay in Prayer and Praise. Sometimes we must renew our minds. We must have the vision that God has given to us. We must accept it. We must be content where we are at on the way to where we are going.

 

Have Faith – Heb 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (NLT)

Trust – Prov 3;5-6 -- Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (NLT)

Believe – Mark 11:23 - 24 -- I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. (NLT)

Forgive – Mark 11: 25 -- But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. (NLT)

Pray – Matt 6:33 -- Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (NLT)

Pray, Praise and Peace – Phil 4:6- 7 -- Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)

We live with Love for others at all times. Unconditional Love. Unfailing Love.

When we walk with God, we are not perfect, we are not fearful. He is the only perfect one. He gives us Love. He gives us Power. He gives us a Sound Mind. He perfects us in His timing according to His divine will and divine plan for our lives. We are walking out our soul salvation. We are allowing Him to make us over by reading our word. He Transforms Us. He Restores Us. We are allowing Him to do a new thing by singing His praises. What we put into our heart will come out of our mouth. Our actions will tell the story of our lives.

Our legacy will be based upon the things we do. We speak life to our situations. In the beginning God spoke. The earth was created. What are you speaking today? What you speak frames the life that you live and experience.

Faith – Do you have it?           (Matt 17:20)                                    

Vision – Do you write it down?        (Hab 2:2)                      

Renewal – Are you reading your word daily? (Ps 1:2)

No matter what you are dealing with today, God sees, God hears, God knows and if you bow your knees, let go of your pride, ask Him for help, submit to Him, All roads will lead to the One who Created you for His purpose and His plan.

He Is, I AM!

scripture verses are taken from www.biblegateway.com

© Princess of Faith 2011.

Resting in the arms of God

Are you ready to continue to rest in Him?

There is nothing like being at rest in God, especially when you know He is all you have. He supplies your every need, there is no lack in your house, you are in your right mind and all is well. At least seemingly on the outside it appears that way. On the inside, your thoughts have overtaken you. You are praying unceasingly, asking for guidance, direction, hearing only silence.

You begin your journey, knowing that your responsibility is to trust God, to continue to depend on Him and to fear not. Then He gives you a vision, so vivid that it is prophetic for you. You ponder it, meditate on it, get some feedback on the meaning, yet you know in your spirit that God is saying so much to you. It is colorful, full of promise and hope, the future is going to unfold before your eyes, with you as a participant without having to do much of anything.

You attend church on Sundays, read a few novels, and do what you have to do to get ready for where He has taken you. The word that God gave you personally comes up again – Confidence. A word that you live by is a part of the sermon – Excellence. A word that you know and God has trained you in is delivered – Humility. What can I say, God is reassuring me, comforting me and letting me know I am on the right track and He has it all under control. I love my Daddy and I praise Him continually for loving me, even when He is protecting me from me and my sinful nature and desires…

It is not about me. It is all about Him and the plans He has for me (Jer 29:11).

It is all about doing His will, no matter what others try to make you think about you, causing you to live in fear and not faith (Is 41:10).

It is knowing that He will perfect you since He called you and chose you to perform the mission He has given you (Rom 8:28).
 

We must have faith. (Heb 11:1)

We must make our petitions known. (Jer 33:3)

We must persevere and be persistent.

We must pursue Jesus – crying out, calling out to Him, daily. (Ps 18:6)

We must believe. (Mark 11:24)

We must trust. (Prov 3: 5-6)

We must overcome the obstacles that will come.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd8noCRtWQo - Take Rest in Me - Deitrick Haddon

He will take care of me and you because you/me/we are the apple of His eye and He loves us so!

©PrincessJoyful

Rejection is a beast

Well, I have been rather silent because some things have been resonating in my spirit and I have had to sit and be still. As I sat, I prayed, worshipped and just spent time in study and the word, still doing the will of God in that season. It is important to sit at the Master's feet, just soaking up what He is speaking. I listened to this song and it spoke to my heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9VSQXBKLwQ 

He has spoken...Confidence, Trust, Believe, Hope

This week was rough on many levels. My heart is hurting. I want to crawl under a rock, and just let go, never to return to this place. O the tears...The sense of rejection, whether it is from friends, family, job, even spiritually, is a beast. It hurts like hell. It causes pain that you thought you would never feel again in your life. At the end of the distraught and hurt and pain, there is a rainbow. I am still looking at the rainbow, it has not totally manifested in my life yet GOD! I know that God has a purpose and plan for me so I am speaking Life to myself and I am holding on. Are you holding on? I can still Dream. I can still have Hope. I can still have Faith. It is all in the perspective of how we deal with the rejection. The enemy thought he had me and had my focus. God has my focus even through the hurt and the pain. A miracle is on its way to my life. God is still in control of Me, my heart, my mind, my soul, my life.

Submitting to the Lord in everything, Totally Submitted, is the life that I want, giving myself away so that God can use me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ofQmeao9I

When all chips are down, God is up to something.

The scriptures that I am holding onto are Gal 6: 9 - 10, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith." and 1 Jn 5:14 - "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him."

I cannot make it without God and I have to crawl into His bosom at this time. No fear, Only Faith. Walking according to His word, not my feelings or what I see. It is not an easy road, but I know that My God will supply all of My needs because I am sold out to Him, my Mind is made up, and I will go Through because there is no where else for me to go. I will continue in Him. With all the emotional pain, the anger, the disappointment, there is still no place like being in the arms of My Daddy, who gently loves me and keeps my feet on solid ground because He is carrying me when I am weak. God takes everything that I was and makes me who I am, He is still making me because I am allowing Him to, as I worship Him.

I had a great conversation with a friend who told me that when others see me, meaning perfect strangers, I don't show any weakness. He told me I carry myself as if I have it all together. I smiled. I told him that you know I don't have it all together when my nails are raggedy and my hair is over a week old and looking like I need some help. None of us are perfect and I will be the first to tell you I am no where near perfect. I guess when I am feeling my worse, people still see the strength that I have from God. I have been told that I need to soften up because I can be intimidating. I have to look like a wounded deer as I am too strong. Not sure how God is going to work this in my life, yet I know He is! I have heard these statements too much in the last month for God not to be working on it in my life. I am such a private person that only those who know me intimately know the naked and true me, the one who cries at a the sign of anything, the one who will give you the last that she has, the one who will bend over backwards and fight for you and with you, the one who will be loyal to the end and love you unconditionally, the quiet one who will sit and wait patiently on you, the one you can call at any hour with a need and I will try everything in my power to meet it, the compassionate one who loves to share and take care of things. Preparation is not lost time...I am being prepared!!!

God is so strong. God loves us so much. I love my God! I love You!

God has a way of speaking to us through song and it has been a wonderful worship experience.

my Daddy, my Protector, my Healer, my Waymaker, my Righteousness, my Source, my Banner, my Provider, my Prince of Peace.