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Friday, June 10, 2011

Rejection is a beast

Well, I have been rather silent because some things have been resonating in my spirit and I have had to sit and be still. As I sat, I prayed, worshipped and just spent time in study and the word, still doing the will of God in that season. It is important to sit at the Master's feet, just soaking up what He is speaking. I listened to this song and it spoke to my heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9VSQXBKLwQ 

He has spoken...Confidence, Trust, Believe, Hope

This week was rough on many levels. My heart is hurting. I want to crawl under a rock, and just let go, never to return to this place. O the tears...The sense of rejection, whether it is from friends, family, job, even spiritually, is a beast. It hurts like hell. It causes pain that you thought you would never feel again in your life. At the end of the distraught and hurt and pain, there is a rainbow. I am still looking at the rainbow, it has not totally manifested in my life yet GOD! I know that God has a purpose and plan for me so I am speaking Life to myself and I am holding on. Are you holding on? I can still Dream. I can still have Hope. I can still have Faith. It is all in the perspective of how we deal with the rejection. The enemy thought he had me and had my focus. God has my focus even through the hurt and the pain. A miracle is on its way to my life. God is still in control of Me, my heart, my mind, my soul, my life.

Submitting to the Lord in everything, Totally Submitted, is the life that I want, giving myself away so that God can use me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ofQmeao9I

When all chips are down, God is up to something.

The scriptures that I am holding onto are Gal 6: 9 - 10, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith." and 1 Jn 5:14 - "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him."

I cannot make it without God and I have to crawl into His bosom at this time. No fear, Only Faith. Walking according to His word, not my feelings or what I see. It is not an easy road, but I know that My God will supply all of My needs because I am sold out to Him, my Mind is made up, and I will go Through because there is no where else for me to go. I will continue in Him. With all the emotional pain, the anger, the disappointment, there is still no place like being in the arms of My Daddy, who gently loves me and keeps my feet on solid ground because He is carrying me when I am weak. God takes everything that I was and makes me who I am, He is still making me because I am allowing Him to, as I worship Him.

I had a great conversation with a friend who told me that when others see me, meaning perfect strangers, I don't show any weakness. He told me I carry myself as if I have it all together. I smiled. I told him that you know I don't have it all together when my nails are raggedy and my hair is over a week old and looking like I need some help. None of us are perfect and I will be the first to tell you I am no where near perfect. I guess when I am feeling my worse, people still see the strength that I have from God. I have been told that I need to soften up because I can be intimidating. I have to look like a wounded deer as I am too strong. Not sure how God is going to work this in my life, yet I know He is! I have heard these statements too much in the last month for God not to be working on it in my life. I am such a private person that only those who know me intimately know the naked and true me, the one who cries at a the sign of anything, the one who will give you the last that she has, the one who will bend over backwards and fight for you and with you, the one who will be loyal to the end and love you unconditionally, the quiet one who will sit and wait patiently on you, the one you can call at any hour with a need and I will try everything in my power to meet it, the compassionate one who loves to share and take care of things. Preparation is not lost time...I am being prepared!!!

God is so strong. God loves us so much. I love my God! I love You!

God has a way of speaking to us through song and it has been a wonderful worship experience.

my Daddy, my Protector, my Healer, my Waymaker, my Righteousness, my Source, my Banner, my Provider, my Prince of Peace.

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