A poem -- Alone, dejected, rejected

Alone, dejected, rejected

You say you love me, yet you are not in a position to marry me
You say you love me, yet you left me with nothing
You say you love me and never hugged me
You say you love me and never check on me
You say you love me and give me no time
You say you love me, yet all you did was take
You say you love me, yet I am alone
You say you love me, yet I had to find my own way
You say you love me, yet I could never live up to your standards
You say you love me and my dreams were too big
You say you love me, I am alone.

You say you love me, yet I find myself wondering
Wondering what I didn't do
Wondering what I did wrong
Wondering what I could change
Wondering how I could ease the pain
Wondering why I always put you first
Wondering why I am still alone.

Alone to deal with this hurt
Alone to deal with this pain
Alone to make heads or tails
Alone to comfort myself
Alone to entertain me
Alone with my thoughts
Alone, dejected and rejected.

Rejected because I was different
Rejected because no one understands
Rejected because I was fair
Rejected and alone.

Dejected because all I want is love.
What kind of love, you ask?
Unconditional love.
A love that only God can give.
A love not found in humankind, yet possible in humankind because we are made in His image.
A love that has no conditions
A love that accepts all of me.

I love you enough to correct you
I love you enough to send you around the world
I love you enough to make your wish my command
I love you enough to encourage your dreams
I love you enough to support you with all of me
I love you enough to put my dreams on hold
I love you enough to give you the best
I love you enough to sacrifice myself
I love you enough to die for you
It seems as if it is not enough, nor am I good enough!

Where is the joy that you should bring
Where is the joy to make everything alright
Where is the joy to kiss away the tears
Where is the joy to fight the battles
Where is the joy with the answer
Where is the joy to ease the pain
Where is the joy and fulfillment that unconditional love should bring?

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love holds no grudges
Love forgives quickly
Love adds no sorrow
Love causes no pain
Love gives, expecting nothing in return!


(C) 29 Nov 2012 PrincessJoyful

Confession for my life

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.  He is my strength and song and is my salvation.  His words will sink deep into my heart first and I will listen to them carefully.  He restores my soul and leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake.  I am blessed because my sins are forgiven.  There is no guile in my spirit.  I have confessed my sins to the Lord and He has forgiven me.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivered me from them all.  I am highly favored and empowered to prosper.  By His stripes, He has healed all my diseases.  I will trust in the Lord with all my heart and do not depend on my own understanding, I will seek His will in all I do and He will direct my path.  I will cast all my cares upon the Lord for He cares for me.  I will resist the devil and he will flee from me for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.  He will rebuke the devourer for my sake.  I will humble myself before the Lord for His divine power gives me everything I need for living a godly life.  I will abide in Him and His words will abide in me. I will seek the Lord in all things and heaven will fill my thoughts.  I know right from wrong and will cherish His law in my heart.  I will not be afraid of people's scorn or their slanderous talk.  I will call upon the Lord and He will answer me, I shall ask what I will, and it shall be done for me.  He will show me great and mighty things.  He is my shield, my glory and the lifter up of my head.  He has called me to receive His own glory and goodness.  Therefore He has given me exceeding and great and precious promises which I will make every effort to apply to my life.  They are my armor and protection.  Without faith, it is impossible for me to please God.  My faith will produce a life of moral excellence, knowing God better, self-control, patient endurance, godliness and love for myself, other christians and everyone else.  I have the Holy Spirit and I know all things for the Spirit teaches me those things.  The fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control will be produced in my life.  As the clay is in the potter's hand, so am I in the Lord's hand.  God is my hiding place and He shall preserve me from trouble.  He shall surround me with songs of victory.  He will shield me with His wings and shelter me with His feathers.  I will exalt the Lord among the heathen and He will be exalted in the earth.  I will bless those that persecute me.  I will overcome evil with good.  My enemy will not triumph over me.  I will wait patiently for the Lord, brave and courageous.  My strength shall be renewed.  I will mount up with wings as eagles, I will run and not be weary.  I will walk and not faint. I am blessed because I delight in the law of the Lord.  I meditate in it day and night.  I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, my leaf will not wither and whatsoever I do shall prosper.  God is good and His faithfulness endures forever.  I will thank Him always.  I love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, and all that is within me.  I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace unto me and not let me turn again to folly.  The Lord God is my strength and He will make my feet like hinds' feet, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places.  By His mighty power at work in me, He is able to accomplish abundantly more than I could ever ask or think.  All nations will call me blessed.  His grace is sufficient for me.

INSPIRED BY the HOLY SPIRIT on 23 Mar 2001

My Bali experience - the island of the gods

Wow, what a journey 2012 has been already. Traveling has been the name of the game every month. I praise God for traveling mercies and allowing me to experience parts of Asia that I only dreamed about as a child.

Bali - a small island that is a part of a larger island nation and chain called Indonesia. A lot of our clothing is made in Indonesia. After much research, I traveled there with a friend to find a place that reminds me of home, Barbados. A place where the locals worship their hindu gods beginning at 6 am and ending at 6 pm. They were faithful in their dedication to setting out their daily offerings as well as the mandatory temple visits every 15 days. What if we, children of God, worshiped our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the same way? What if we worshiped Him upon waking, as we should, and before going to bed, as we should? The Balinese exhibited what we should all be doing, albeit to their idols. I saw men, riding scooters, stop in the middle of the day to pray before the stone idol outside the temple. The design in some of their clothing gave reference to what they believed in. No one was offended by their openness and their daily worship. Why do we, as Christians, afraid of being bold for Christ? Why do we scamper away at the first sign of someone taking offense at our worship? Why can we not say Jesus for our own hearing without someone getting upset? One thing I learned is that I will be Bold for Jesus.



Upon our arrival, we took a short nap, about 4 hours, then we set off for the local market. There is not many parking spaces for cars, many for scooters though. Their main mode of transportation is the scooter. I saw them carry two large speakers on a scooter. Four people, two adults and two children under the age of 3, were on one scooter. What a life? The appreciate the little things. How about us?
We walked through the market, as it was closing, and I discovered many fruit and vegetables similar to those found in Barbados. I was at home. One observation that I found is that they do not have a lot of refrigeration or the cooling for meat, as we are accustomed to in the United States. Purchase meat and fish at your own expense of experiencing Bali belly later...

We then checked in and surveyed our surroundings. We had the beach, when the tide was low, in front of us. We were situated on a road that had many turns. If you did not know where you were going, you would be lost. I loved the colors in the hotel room - my favorite - burgundy, gold and white. Just awesome when used together. We saw many beautiful sunsets and felt many cool breezes at our little spot in Candi Dasa.

Resurrection Sunday found us praising God, dancing and singing His praises as we read the word for our devotions. It was a day to bask in the Son and His presence. My word for the day was "Be slow to speak", Ecc 5:2. Wow, just sitting on my balcony, looking at the ocean and the restaurant below, surveying the land, I was continually reminded of God's beauty and creation, even if we all don't worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. He created us all and we are able to work together, putting our differences aside, even on the day we celebrate His rising from the grave so we would be reconciled back to Him!

We then set off for the oldest village in the island where there are still about 200 people living who make pashmina scarves along with other cothing. Their shop is in their home. It was interesting to see how they live. The bedrooms are all on one side, there is a covering over the middle and the kitchen is on the opposite end of the structure. Lots of free flowing throughout the house. There was no bathroom readily or easily seen. From what I can tell, they may still have outhouses. The toilets that I used at White Sandy Beach had a toilet, I believe to appease visitors, however you had to flush by pouring water into the bowl when you were finished your business.

We had another day of rest, enjoyed the pool, read a book and expressed my desire for local fruit and local adventures. I was introduced to mangosteen, such a wonderful flavor and taste, durian, which I did not get an opportunity to taste as well as reintroduced to sugar apple  and passion fruit (Bajan name). They were lovely. I also go to drink fresh coconut water, straight out of the nut from the tree. Not store bought. Freshly picked right there for me. The wonders of my Daddy and how He loves me so. He gave me the desire of my heart. I had one daily. It was refreshing.

My desire led me to ask our driver to take us to a waterfall. We got the waterfall, a beautiful sight, that was about quarter of a mile away. It was gorgeous. We also got to see the smaller of the three largest mountains on the island as it continues to have lava escaping around its side. There was a green oasis in the middle of the lava and I could only think of the miracle of God and how He protects us so when we least expect it.

I then had another day of rest, while continuing to bask in the goodness of God. The weather reports had listed thunderstorms for three days and we had yet to see one drop of rain. The sea came in only so far and no further, again allowing me to be amazed at my Daddy and His creation. High tides were in the morning, some days the waves were choppy, other days, they were smooth. More examples of how we are not really in control of anything, God is in control of it all and He directs and orchestrates our path.

It was time to leave after six glorious days and I began to really praise and thank God for the experience. I felt right at home. The motto of the resort is "Unique, Friendly and Relaxing" and I can say that it was truly that for me and more. I am a little more brown than usual, more like honey ginger caramel rather than just honey colored. My daily massages allowed me to experience relaxation like no other. My books that I read, "The Walk" by Shaun Alexander and "Be still and know" by Sietta Jefferson, reinforced for me that when I was an Unbeliever, God was there. God led me to become a Believer and an Example. He is teaching me how to become a Teacher, while I learn to Impart to those He sends my way. I continue to be an Example as I Teach and Impart as I sit at His feet, learning how to be Still and Wait on the Promises He has for me.

Thank you Lord for an awesome time experiencing who You are to me, for me and in me!